One of the many things that I’ve been able to manifest through practicing the Law of Attraction is my incredible partner, Matthew.
I went from being in the most toxic, unhealthy, and abusive relationship to manifesting a partner who is caring, goofy, genuine, supportive and loving. A partner who was completely compatible with me and made all of my dreams come true.
Since manifesting him into my experience and creating this business around manifestation and life coaching, I’ve had many women express interest and curiosity in my relationship.
Matt and I are told by our friends all the time how we’re “couples’ goals” and are usually asked how we found each other and how we have the relationship that we do.
And my clients and girlfriends often tell me that they want a relationship like ours or even ask for advice on how to manifest a partnership like ours.
So in honor of our four year anniversary, I wanted to create a blog post sharing exactly how I was able to manifest my partner.
This is a non-fluff post that dives into my experience manifesting Matt and shares important lessons you need to learn to stop sabotaging your efforts in manifesting your soulmate.
Four Ways I Used the Law of Attraction to Manifest My Soulmate
1) I focused on the essence of what I wanted
The number one mistake that I see people making when they’re trying to manifest their partner is by focusing on the superficial things that don’t matter.
So often I hear of women saying that they want to manifest a husband, a big engagement ring, or someone handsome, someone with a thigh tattoo, a sexy jaw line, or six pack abs.
Here’s the thing – YES, you can do that, but you don’t want to.
I have heard some crazy stories of women manifesting everything that they wanted in a partner, right down to that giant engagement right, but they still ended up in crappy (sometimes even abusive) relationships.
Moral of the story: be careful what you wish for.
When I was trying to manifest my partner, Matthew, I relaxed on the superficial things that really don’t matter. Instead, I focused on the essence of what I wanted in a relationship.
For me that meant that I wanted someone who was loving, sweet, genuine, and supportive. I was coming from a very emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship and through that I realized what I did and didn’t want in my relationship.
My previous partner used to tease me about my interests and my dreams for the future. He thought that all of the content creation that I wanted to do, like writing this blog, was something that I should be embarrassed about.
He would even make fun of me for praying and being interested in things like manifestation and spirituality!
Because of that, I finally realized that the superficial things didn’t matter to me anymore. My last boyfriend had the “look” that I was usually attracted to, but he didn’t make me feel good.
So when I started working on manifesting Matt, I focused on the personality traits that I wanted in a partner, how they made me feel, and what a healthy relationship looked like to me.
This is different for everyone, but the most important things that I wanted were someone who was loving toward me and supported my interests and my dreams.
I would envision how he would treat me and what he would act like around me when I discussed these things with him. I wanted him to be enthusiastic and encouraging of the life that I wanted to create for myself and the way that I would spend my time.
That meant envisioning us talking, seeing him hug me, hearing him encourage my ideas and dreams for the future, and just generally being a healthy partner and my cheerleader.
I also envisioned me being completely myself around this person. I wasn’t “hiding” who I was or filtering what I was interested in anymore. I would openly talk about blogging, content creation, spirituality, universal laws, taking pictures, praying, etc.
And of course, I ended up getting just that!
Although Matt isn’t personally interested in the same exact things that I am, he always encourages me. I can talk to him about my oracle card readings, my Reiki sessions, my spiritual insights and gifts, and my manifestations.
He has never once teased me and always acts happy and supportive of me when I share this part of myself with him.
Remember these things when you go to manifest your “soulmate.”
Is a big engagement ring really going to make you happy in a partnership? Are his abs the top priority?
Think about who exactly you want in your life and who would be compatible with you, and then create visualizations that reflect those qualities.
2) I envisioned how we would spend our time together
The next thing that I did when I was trying to manifest my partner was imagining the things that we would be doing together and how we would be spending our time together.
My previous partner used to not like any of the same things that I liked. His top priority was mainly drinking and smoking, and he was completely disinterested in how I wanted to spend my time.
I would try to get him to take trips with me, go to coffee shops, take pictures, etc. But he didn’t want to and I was repeatedly let down and disappointed with the relationship.
I was also interested in converting a van in the future and traveling around the country together visiting the national parks, which he also didn’t want to do!
When I was working on manifesting Matt, I thought about what my new relationship would look like and how we would spend our time together.
It was important to me that I had a relationship that was fun, exciting, and adventurous. I wanted to do photo shoots together, visit museums, check out new coffee shops, go on trips together, travel the country together.
I then created heightened visualizations that reflected those things. I saw us traveling the country in an RV, getting our pictures taken by a photographer, visiting museums and taking photos.
One of the primary visualizations that I would focus most of my time on revolved around us going out and eating gourmet donuts together. In my previous relationships, my boyfriend was completely disinterested in going to get donuts together. And after several years together, my dream of going on a cute little donut date never came true!
So I would envision these different dates like visiting museums and donut shops because in my heart it symbolized a fun, playful relationship with someone who enjoyed doing the same things as me.
A few years later, I ended up meeting Matt and every single dream and desire for our relationship came true. We ended up going on countless dates to coffee shops and gourmet donut shops. We went to every museum we could in our area and we took plenty of pictures together.
He and I even ended up doing photoshoots with local photographers just for the fun of it. And now that I have a personal brand and online business, Matt regularly joins me in my photoshoots to make all my cute photo dreams come true.
But what’s even more amazing is that on our very first date, Matt and I talked about how we wanted to travel the country in an RV someday and visit all of the national parks!
And when the pandemic hit, Matt and I ended up buying a school bus together which he is converting into a luxury tiny home for us to travel in together in the fall!
If you’re trying to manifest your dream partner right now, don’t just focus on their appearance or even their qualities. Think about how you want to spend your time together. Seeing as you will be spending a lot of time with your life partner, this is an important thing to visualize that for some reason people don’t give a lot of thought to in their manifestation process.
3) I used a photo that symbolized the relationship I wanted
If you’re familiar with manifestation and the Law of Attraction, you most likely are familiar with vision boards as a manifestation tool.
With a vision board, you find and place photos into a collage that represent the life that you want to create for yourself.
If you do the vision board correctly, you choose photos that speak to you. Photos that create a spark inside of you when you see them and make you feel the emotions of having that desire now.
When I was working on manifesting my dream life, I created a vision board on Pinterest that I would look at several times a day that encompassed the new life that I wanted to create.
Through my online search, I ended up finding a black and white photo of a young couple. It was a photo from an engagement shoot where they were in their home cooking eggs in the kitchen.
The woman was wearing her finance’s shirt while she stood in front of the stove with a big smile on her face and a spatula in hand while she was making breakfast. Her finance was behind her loving wrapping her in a bear hug while he looked over her shoulder.
It was a simple, yet beautiful photo and for some reason this photo spoke to me more than another other photo that I had on my vision board.
At the time I was creating this board, I was in a very unhealthy relationship where cute moments like this – something as simple as being affectionate and cooking together – didn’t happen.
That photo of a couple standing in their kitchen, embracing each other lovingly, and cooking eggs was immediately symbolic of a healthy and happy relationship. It sparked something inside of me when I saw it. It reflected the love, respect, gentleness, and happiness of a healthy relationship.
It didn’t reflect anything superficial like a big engagement ring and heavy filters or photoshop. It represented two people who loved each other and a glimpse into the daily life of a healthy, happy couple.
I must have pulled up this photo hundreds of times back then. And every time I saw it, I would reflect on how this new partnership would be. The life that we would build together, the home, the puppy we would adopt, the places we would visit, and the laughs and the hugs that we should share.
Of course, years later that dream came true.
And when I thought about creating this blog post for my clients and my audience, I immediately knew that I wanted to recreate that photo.
This set of photos taken by my dear friend and photographer, Ray Reyes, is my way of saying “I made it. It’s possible. And you can have this too.”
If you’re in the process of trying to call in that ideal partner, I highly suggest finding a photo that creates the spark in you that I felt when I discovered that black and white photo on Pinterest.
Find the photo that represents the relationship that you want. Not the physical or superficial things.
And if you want to take it a step further, make sure that the content that you’re taking in is also reflecting the relationship that you want to create. If you’re addicted to sad love songs and movies where the couple fight all the time or break up, then that is the energy that you’re aligning yourself with.
Make sure that the content you surround yourself with is reflective of the relationship that you want to call in.
4) I completely detached and surrendered to Divine Timing
If you take any lesson away from this blog post, let it be this: in order to manifest your dream partner, you have to detach from the outcome and surrender to Divine Timing.
You have to trust that it will happen – even if you don’t know how!
After I spent many months trying to manifest my partner, I decided that I wanted to be in this relationship NOW. I wanted this relationship so desperately that I would go on dates all the time and try to force a relationship with guys that were not worth my time.
I had finally healed from my previous relationship and I wanted this new one ASAP. And I became that desperate, needy, boy-obsessed girl that was constantly trying to find a boyfriend.
What actually ended up happening was that I would date someone for a few months, become infatuated with them, and then they would ghost me. Leading me to getting my heart rebroken another 4 or 5 times.
Finally after the last time, I had a breakthrough.
I was done with all of it. But most of all I was done with needing to be in a relationship.
I realized that I was complete by myself. I wasn’t a broken person that needed someone else to swoop in and make me whole and happy.
After that last heart break, I found my strength. I realized that I was amazing, strong, and capable. And how absurd it had been that I spent years making myself miserable over stupid, immature boys.
I can still remember this moment where it all shifted just like it was yesterday.
At that moment, I decided that I didn’t need a relationship anymore and that I had everything that I needed to be happy. I decided that I was completely DONE dating for the next several years while I built a life and career for myself. And I knew that someday someone would come around who was worth my time.
Just like how the women in my family had found their partners, I knew that someday I would find mine. But I no longer cared when and how it would happen.
The next day, I went out with a group of girlfriends and I made this “sweeping declaration” to the girls about this revelation. I told them about how I didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and that I was no longer interested in dating until I was “25, with my own apartment, a big girl job, and my own dog.”
I was truly and completely content with myself for the first time in my life.
Funnily enough, the moment we surrender the outcome and the “how,” is the moment when the universe delivers.
Hours later when we all went out for drinks, I ended up meeting Matt very serendipitously. We had such a movie style “meet cute” that I would have never been able to predict it even if I tried.
As soon as I released the chaotic, anxious energy around my desire, it walked right into my life.
Matt ended up being absolutely perfect for me. One our first date, we even talked about how we both wanted to travel around the country in an RV someday, spending our time hiking, taking pictures, and seeing the national parks.
Over the next several years, Matt had made all of my visualizations come true. We’ve seen tons of museums, spent our time exploring coffee shops, had many donut dates, gone on countless photoshoots, had amazing trips and adventures, moved in together, bought our first home, and adopted our puppy.
Matt has encouraged me and supported my dreams since the very beginning. He was cheering me on even while my own friends and family weren’t.
He has stood by me while I recreated myself, quit my full-time job, started an online business, and launched my blog and podcast.
And now, he’s making my biggest dream come true! In June 2020 Matt purchased an old school bus that he’s now converting into a luxury tiny home for us so that we can travel all over the country and have never ending adventures together.
Our plan is to spend half of the year traveling and half of the year at our home in St. Pete, Florida.
The bus is almost done and our first trip is kicking off in September.
They are on their way to you right now!
Before you head out, I wanted to leave you with a few thoughts.
First, if you apply the advice and techniques that I mentioned above, you will manifest your partner. Your manifestation practice will have 100x more power and success than it did before.
These steps will help you to end the manic manifesting cycle, and finally create the life and partnership that you’ve been wanting.
Secondly, whether you just started trying to manifest your soulmate or you’ve been struggling like I was, please know that they are on the way!
Do not lose hope because you WILL find the right person for you.
Remember, you will never be able to predict when or how it ends up happening.
The “how” is the responsibility of the universe. The universe is all seeing and all knowing. It knows the most perfect, harmonious way to align you with your desires. It knows better than YOU and better than me how to connect you with your soulmate.
There is also an element of divine timing. If you haven’t met your perfect person yet, it’s because you two just aren’t ready for each other right now.
As much as I wanted Matt to come into my life a long time ago, thank goodness he didn’t! I didn’t know at the time (and you also don’t realize it yet) that I wasn’t ready for him.
I had so many important lessons that I had to learn and personal development that needed to happen before I would have been ready for him. Matt feels the same way too!
If we would have met earlier, we would not have been the people that we needed to be in order to be compatible with each other and be in a happy, healthy relationship.
I was still struggling with inner demons, unworthiness, low self-esteem, and immaturity. I wouldn’t have been right for him back then. And Matt was still in his reckless, immature, party-boy phase and hadn’t gone on his own personal development journey yet.
The universe has already been orchestrating when you and your partner will meet! But it will only happen once you and your partner are ready for each other.
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